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Kids say the funniest things

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  • Kids say the funniest things

    What Exactly is Marriage?
    Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back to her parents.
    - Eric, age 6

    What Exactly is Marriage?
    When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, "I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me.' Then she says yes, but she's wondering what the thing is and whether it's naughty or not. She can't wait to find out.
    -Anita - age 9

    How Does Person Decide Whom to Marry?
    You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one.
    - Kelly - age 9

    How Does Person Decide Whom to Marry?
    My mother says to look for a man who is kind... That's what I'll do... I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome.
    - Carolyn - age 8

    Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married.
    Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife.
    - Bert, age 5


    How Did Your Mom and Dad Meet?
    My father was doing some strange chores for my mother. They won't tell me what kind.
    - Jeremy, age 8

    What Do Most People Do On a Date:
    On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
    - Martin, age 10

    When is Okay to Kiss Someone?
    You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding.
    Allan, age 10

    What Do Most People Do On a Date:
    Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you... If nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.
    - Kally, age 9


    The Great Debate: Is it Better to Be Single or Married?
    It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble.
    - Will, age 7

    What Most People are Thinking When They Say "I Love You"
    "The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day."
    Michelle, age 9.


    How Do People In Love Typically Behave?
    "When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down and they don't get up for at least an hour."
    Wendy, age 8.

    What Most People are Thinking When They Say "I Love You"
    "Mooshy...like puppy dogs...except puppy dogs don't wag their tails nearly as much."
    Arnold, age 10.

    What Most People are Thinking When They Say "I Love You"
    "All of a sudden, the people get movies fever so they can sit together in the dark."
    Sherm, age 8.

    On What Falling In Love Is Like
    "Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life."
    John, age 9.

    On What Falling In Love Is Like
    "If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long."
    Glenn, age 7.

    Concerning Why Lovers Often Hold Hands
    "They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them."
    Gavin, age 8.

    The Personal Qualities You Need to Have in Order to be a Good Lover
    "One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills."
    Ava, age 8.

    Some Surefire Ways to Make a Person Fall In Love With You
    "Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love."
    Alonzo, age 9.

    How Can You Tell if Two Adults Eating Dinner at a Restaurant Are in Love?
    "Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love."
    Bobby, age 9.

    How Can You Tell if Two Adults Eating Dinner at a Restaurant Are in Love?
    "Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold...Other people care more about the food."
    Bart, age 9.

    How To Make Love Endure
    "Don't forget your wife's name...That will mess up the love."
    Erin, age 8.

    .
    Children Write to God.....
    Dear GOD: Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones You have?

    Children Write to God.....
    Dear GOD: Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. -Larry


    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty .

    A Child's Thoughts
    A woman, who is a doctor, tells this story about her then-4-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. "Be still, my heart," thought the mother, "my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!"

    Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
    Last edited by urso8up; 01-08-04, 08:02 AM.

  • #2
    my daughter went to the bank with her grandparents and they went thru the drivethru and they got some money and left... well a couple days passed and i told her i needed some money she said well just go to the bank like papaw did pull up to the window and tell them how much you need and they give it to you. thats all you have to do she said. i just laughed and said i wished it was that easy

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    • #3
      too much shit to read but im sure they are very amusing LOL :D

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by lilmrsmexican
        my daughter went to the bank with her grandparents and they went thru the drivethru and they got some money and left... well a couple days passed and i told her i needed some money she said well just go to the bank like papaw did pull up to the window and tell them how much you need and they give it to you. thats all you have to do she said. i just laughed and said i wished it was that easy
        Wouldn't that be nice to do

        Comment


        • #5
          Too Sweet...............great way to start my day!

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          • #6
            kids you never know what is going to come out of their mouths sometimes you just hold your breath that it is not going to imbrass you

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            • #7
              LOL! :rofl: you crack me up:D

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              • #8
                How Did Your Mom and Dad Meet?
                My father was doing some strange chores for my mother. They won't tell me what kind.
                - Jeremy, age 8


                * Lol we can imagine

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                • #9
                  my daughter askes what time the internet closes the other day. it was so funny

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