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> > > 1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
> > >
> > > 2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very
> > > often.
> > >
> > > 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
> > > standing in a garage makes you a car.
> > >
> > > 4. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
> > >
> > > 5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
> > >
> > > 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
> > >
> > > 7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is
> > > serious.
> > >
> > > 8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
> > >
> > > 9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite
> > > government program.
> > >
> > > 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need
> > > the trip.
> > >
> > > 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of
> > > checks.
> > >
> > > 12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts
> > > feel so good.
> > >
> > > 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
> > >
> > > 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
> > >
> > > 15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
> > >
> > > 16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
> > >
> > > 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness
> > > of the waist change places.
> > >
> > > 18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
> > >
> > > 19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away
> > > three weeks before you need it.
> > >
> > > 20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
> > >
> > > 21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to
> > > recognize a mistake when you make it again.
> > >
> > > 22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
> > >
> > > 23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
> > >
> > > 24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to
> > > the real world.
> > >
> > > 25. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've
> > > never tried before.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > 2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very
> > > often.
> > >
> > > 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
> > > standing in a garage makes you a car.
> > >
> > > 4. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
> > >
> > > 5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
> > >
> > > 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
> > >
> > > 7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is
> > > serious.
> > >
> > > 8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
> > >
> > > 9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite
> > > government program.
> > >
> > > 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need
> > > the trip.
> > >
> > > 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of
> > > checks.
> > >
> > > 12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts
> > > feel so good.
> > >
> > > 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
> > >
> > > 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
> > >
> > > 15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
> > >
> > > 16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
> > >
> > > 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness
> > > of the waist change places.
> > >
> > > 18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
> > >
> > > 19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away
> > > three weeks before you need it.
> > >
> > > 20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
> > >
> > > 21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to
> > > recognize a mistake when you make it again.
> > >
> > > 22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
> > >
> > > 23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
> > >
> > > 24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to
> > > the real world.
> > >
> > > 25. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've
> > > never tried before.
> > >
> > >
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