What's the one thing you miss because your married?

[batteryreqd]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: What's the one thing you miss because your married?

Originally posted by dreamgirl
my problem is, I'm always the one to start sex... he NEVER is. That's why I feel like this. -DG

Do something different. My wife always intitiates it as well. I thought my hormones were strong...lol. But she will wear something new and sexy that really gets my attention, or wears some really awesome sexy scent that I know is coming from someplace I love to go down too....mix it up and keep him guessing. Thats what does it for me. The same nitegown and the same routine gets old and expected. Making any sense?

[dreamgirl]

thanks for the advice morgan and keiser. I'll try and talk to him, I think actually I bring it up a lot... I think that a lot of times everyone is tired or it's our daughter who won't stop getting out of bed at night... I just really notice it.

[edvedr]

no you do need to talk to him, he might not realize that he is making you feel like this. he could just be comfortable which makes us forget to do those small little important things. ALWAYS TALK ABOUT THINGS NO MATTER WHAT!!!

[The_Jarhead]

You say you are always the one who initiates sex.
Here is something to try.
Make him be the one to do it. Tease him slightly a little kissing and heavy breathing on the ear as you walk by during day-to-day things. Or even while you’re out doing things like shopping and such. When the kids aren’t around walk around in less clothes that you normally would. Find and old shirt and cut in to a half shirt that is just a bit too short and put that on while you are watching TV. Do these things and then don’t be the one to start sex. It may take few days but soon he will as you said just jump you right there.

If it doesn’t work fast enough I’m sure some of us on here can give you some ideas of thing that will drive him mad.

Another thing you can do to get that new feeling back is Roll playing. Get a baby sitter for the night and go out to a bar or nightclub. Don’t go in together. Pick each other up as if you have never met. It is kind of awkward at first but you can really have fun with it if you allow yourselves to.

[dreamgirl]

great ideas, i already walk around in see through tops and bikinis all the time and short skirts, that's normally what I wear... i'll let you all know how it works

[Morgan]

Originally posted by dreamgirl
thanks for the advice morgan and keiser. I'll try and talk to him, I think actually I bring it up a lot... I think that a lot of times everyone is tired or it's our daughter who won't stop getting out of bed at night... I just really notice it.

Was like this in my house for years. Always something. You absolutely must make as much time for each other as best as possible. And don't stop trying.

Kids can take every last minute of your time and you can't let them. It won't make for bad parenting and you shouldn't feel guilty about making time for yourselves. The_Jarhead's post is great, you can accomplish a lot with a little non-verbal communication as well.

Hang in there

:D

[batteryreqd]

Kids will be the biggest obstacle in any relationship...it will test you, but as long as you communicate you can make it. They are only in your house for a short period of time in your life...18 years doesn't seem short...but it goes much quicker than you think!!! lol

[trip]

Don't know for sure, sounds simple enough,

seems like you need a certain amount of VALIDATION, ie, recognition, of course the positive type of who you are, and you need and desire this on somewhat of a consitent basis.

It's kind of like metabolism everyone has a certain set point.

Me personally don't need alot of attention, yet, dammit, better get my share or ain't happy camper.

The stuff you talk about, when meeting someone new, most of time there attention is totally on you and yes it is very energizing.

Never ever forget to return the favors in kind, which sure you do.

Good Luck

[JUICE]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: What's the one thing you miss because your married?

Originally posted by dreamgirl
my problem is, I'm always the one to start sex... he NEVER is. That's why I feel like this. -DG

talk to him one night about it, I was sorta like that with my girl, she was the one that would always attack me and now......hmmm im the animal of the couple. I just attck her more often and she told me thats the way she like me. Im like cool:agree:

[dreamgirl]

i talked to him and he said that he is totally attracted to me and he said that he is always worried he would come off too strong, so he said when he gets back in town, he'll jump me. hopefully it will be very passionate!

[Auriflex]

I miss the sex part.

[Puddles]

I went through the same thing, dreamgirl. Just don't give up. Sometimes guys need reminders, so if things pick up, then start to slack off again, remind him! Your husband probably has a new sense of respect for you since you're a mother. He may be supressing his lust for you because of this. You on the otherhand are needing the sexual part of your relationship even more now than ever. He's probably fairly stressed at work too and that often plays a part in a couple's sex life. Believe him when he says it's not you. He may be feeling some of the more adult pressures of fatherhood, family responsibility, etc. and supressing his own desires in order to fit into the steriotypical role that he's now in. Help him let his hair down and take life a little easier. Hire the babysitter and go out on dates. Don't just do typical romantic stuff as that will put pressure on him, but do some stuff that you know he just simply enjoyes like going to a ballgame with him. Ask him what some of his fantasies are...if he's too shy to talk about them face to face, ask him to write it down for you...then you can work on fulfilling it. Tell him some of yours as well. I like writing things down...this way you have something to go back and look at instead of just relying on memory. You can make a once a month regular fantasy night or day. Also, remember that physically, guys hormones are highest in the mornings vs. women's being higher at night so you might want to consider workin on stuff early in the day as a change of pace. Guys also like the thrill of the chase. Always being available to him is no challenge. I'm not saying for you to say no to him, but instead, make sure some teasing/flirting is going on during non-available times...like call him at work and tell him how horny you are, whisper things in his ear when you're out in public, bend over secuctively giving him a nice view when you know he can't have you, teasing goes a long way.

Good luck!

[dreamgirl]

thanks mrs. puddles, I will definatley try some of those things!!!

[BronzedGoddess]

the anticipation of the first kiss. Infatuation....

[FLEX IT]

The thrill and excitement of getting a girl naked for the first time and seeing if she's a good kisser.

Oh bye the way, Im always the aggressor in our marriage and it gets real old. It seems like after our son was born it got worse.
I need to be loved and need effection too and I've told her that.
I think it's because I'm an effectionate touchy feely guy and she really isn't.