Misery in POST CYCLE

[monster70k]

Well, after my first cycle, I am now a month removed from the 200mg Test Cyp / 100mg Test Prop / 200mg Deca / 37.5mg Anavar I was taking each day. I started hGH 3iu right after (I know I wish I started 3 months ago - bad timing) and am taking HCG, Tamox, Clo, and Anastrozole - which wraps up Monday.

Results - FUCKING ABYSMAL.

No sex drive.
Dropping weight (water/muscle) gained some fat - although fat is now coming off. Diet stayed consistent - spot on 50/30/20 Macro split.
No sex drive.
Lack of motivation.
No sex drive.
Feelings of sadness/depression from watching a fucking Pepsi commercial.
No sex drive.
Pumps evaporate 1 hour after workout.
No sex drive.

I'm 220 (was 237 on Oct 31) 5'10" at 13% BF (BF went UP as I was losing weight/size to 14% now coming down prob HCG?).

My strength has stayed the same.

I am not a happy person. I have 4-5 weeks starting on Monday to go clean with no anything to allow everything to stabilize. Next cycle scheduled to start Jan 16.

Question: If this is going to get worse, I'm out. I want back on and I will just freeze some of my stuff (I'm 40. I want to maybe have 1 more child in a few years.) and resume. If I just want one more cycle to get back to where I was and a little bit (like to be 235 @ 10-12%) then cruise after that - if done responsibly are than any longterm effects to staying on TRT other than the obvious natural test shutdown? Liver/cholesterol issues? Etc?

[blm]

Sounds like you were holding a shit ton of water. Muscles don't disappear in 3 weeks.

[Chadd77]

No way everything will stabilize in another 4-5 weeks. You haven't even completed your PCT correct? My guess is you need at least 3-4 months off after you complete your PCT. Will you be getting blood work done?

I've been off for a little over 2.5 months now. I started to notice some sides about 4 weeks after my last injection. Mainly sex drive. I did lose some weight too but I always try an increase my calories while I'm off to compensate for some muscle loss. I just finally started getting my sex drive back.

It's not mentally easy coming off. I hate not looking/feeling like I do when I'm on but my health is way more important to me. Good luck bro! Wish you the best!

[monster70k]

Sounds like you were holding a shit ton of water. Muscles don't disappear in 3 weeks.

My stats show I went from 148.4 lbs to 139.8 lbs currently in water weight. But I gained 2.5 lbs body fat. Is that an outrageous amount of water to hold/fluctuate at my size?

[monster70k]

No way everything will stabilize in another 4-5 weeks. You haven't even completed your PCT correct? My guess is you need at least 3-4 months off after you complete your PCT. Will you be getting blood work done?

I've been off for a little over 2.5 months now. I started to notice some sides about 4 weeks after my last injection. Mainly sex drive. I did lose some weight too but I always try an increase my calories while I'm off to compensate for some muscle loss. I just finally started getting my sex drive back.

It's not mentally easy coming off. I hate not looking/feeling like I do when I'm on but my health is way more important to me. Good luck bro! Wish you the best!

Yes - bloodwork again Jan 9. Oh - 3-4 months after PCT? OK, well then that isn't going to do it. I was told if I stay on the HGH that it will minimize the loss post cycle in the future - but I cannot do this for another 3-4 months. Can you share/enlighten me as to your primary health concerns with staying on a cruising level? Is there no way to make that work?

[blm]

My stats show I went from 148.4 lbs to 139.8 lbs currently in water weight. But I gained 2.5 lbs body fat. Is that an outrageous amount of water to hold/fluctuate at my size?

No not at all. Just saying your gains were water and very little muscle. That is why it disappeared so quickly.

[Chadd77]

If you're getting blood work done then there is no reason to worry. If your levels are not where they should be I'm sure the doc will want to wait until they are within normal ranges. I always thought it took much longer than 2 months off for that to happen but I'm not a doctor. lol Let us know how your blood work turns out.

[A$AP]

Sucks to hear bro. Finish your pct and wait. Did you suffer from any testicle atrophy?

[Bouncer]

I don't understand whats going on in the pics? Is that you? What's with all the narrations and shit with clothes on? Am I the only one that finds this weird? lol

[Bouncer]

and yes, coming off sucks balls, that's why I dont.

[cedubb02]

Bro you just have to accept the fact that this shit is just temporary for the time your on. When you cycle off you size goes with it. There is no way your natural body which prob produces 70mg of test a week, can keep the body that had 300mg of test and 200mg of a designer steroid. I think for your peace of mind you need to look at other professionals that cycle off or retire, they experience the same thing. Part of the game brah

[Oberonbww]

I just took my test down to 200mg a week after being on 600mg week forever. I also finished a cycle of Deca at 400 mg a week. I felt and looked massive while on. My pumps lasted for days. I dropped about 25 pounds of water weight coming off. Lost little strength however. I think I look puny, however my buds all say I actually look better. It's a huge psychological fuck. Hang in there.

My avatar is me since coming off. My arms a month before this pic were an inch and a half bigger.

[monster70k]

No not at all. Just saying your gains were water and very little muscle. That is why it disappeared so quickly.

Yes - I can totally see that. I was primarily using it to hold existing muscle while I cut body fat - cut it 10%. That makes PERFECT sense. Damn sometimes the answer stares you right in the face - I have all my data - it's very obvious now. Feel stupid but a little better about my situation.

Thanks blm.

[monster70k]

Sucks to hear bro. Finish your pct and wait. Did you suffer from any testicle atrophy?

Very very little.

[monster70k]

I don't understand whats going on in the pics? Is that you? What's with all the narrations and shit with clothes on? Am I the only one that finds this weird? lol

I don't have any before pics with my shirt off - and I was dropping (data provided) 1%+ of BF per week do they wouldn't really provide much of a before/after. Only way I knew to show it was with a pic because clothes that 'fit' just a couple of weeks ago now look like a potato sack.