Do you masterbate even when married?

[believer]

Today when I got home from work we had a frank discussion where she told me something very significant which happened to her when she was much younger that has damaged her mentally, emotionally and physically. She has never told anyone this before (which is a huge deal because she is so very close to her Mother and Sister) This has shed a new light on 'us' and our problems. It's helping me understand where she is coming from now as if a curtain was lifted to reveal something that I had, until now, been unable to see. I feel a lot more optimistic now than I did just a few hours ago....

jipped jeans-thanks for that:rofl: :rofl:

[TheRussian]

Originally posted by Keiser
I've never understood this. If someone withholds something from someone else, then that tells me the withholder isn't benefiting from it. Its like a one way street. Does this mean that these wives don't enjoy sex as much as the husband?

Sex should be mutal enjoyment. In my world/relationships, it should be the same, the guy should be able to withold sex from the woman just the same & she would suffer, if not then something is wrong.

I didn't word that very well, but you get the idea.....

Agreed. I think it's pretty silly to have women exert power over you in any way. You always got to be one step ahead; and remain a challenge.

[dreamgirl]

i think my husband masturbates almost everyday! lol... I'm not with-holding either...

[inkman]

Originally posted by dreamgirl
i think my husband masturbates almost everyday! lol... I'm not with-holding either...

Lucky basterd hehe.

Beliver- I was going to say that your wife sounds exactly like my exwife.. I went for up to a month without sex sometimes because she knew she could get away with that shit. and if sex was not her idea and was not going to happen. These amoung other things lead to the end of that so called marriage.Such as never meeting her friends, never being invited to work partys and never meeting her family after 3 years!!!!

Also found out that my ex had been molested by 2 of her uncles as a child and that left an impact that never went away. She has used sex for power and control with everyone man she has been with. My advise to you is to get your wife into counseling if you want to make things better. Cause things will not change much if yoiu do not.

[believer]

Also found out that my ex had been molested by 2 of her uncles as a child and that left an impact that never went away. She has used sex for power and control with everyone man she has been with

Inkman, thanks for that. That's what I was getting at last time I posted on this. It puts our 'problem' into a different perspective.

[trip]

believer,

Good for you two.

Counseling is a great idea if your both willing. The fact that she held it in for so long, and now has let it out, she has, just guessing here, finally come to realize the overall impact of that one incident in her life.

Counseling is suggested, because even though this is a personal issue, and we all feel alone, and like no one can understand, the reality is many have been down this road, and an expert counselor can guide you too a more pleasureable life.

And if you don't feel comfortable with your counselor, get another one. Unfortunately like life, their are good ones, bad ones, in between ones, and great ones.

So, if you feel uncomfortable with the counselor it is a strong sign it is not place for you, find another one, all you will do if you stay is creat more negative emotions.

Hoped That Helped
Good Luck

[Stonecold54]

I know that this issue is resolved but I always masturbate once in the morning before work and right before bed. and if I get some sex in between or after that is just icing on the cake. LOL :D

[redMachchick]

I don't know about everyone else's wife but...if I want something I don't withhold it, I give it to him!!! Ladies, thats how you get what you want!!!! :3some: Especially if its some back door action!!! lol Whoo HOO

I don't let my man masturbate by himself...I join him:D (but he still masturbates more than me hehe I don't mind)

[corythosaurus]

Sex should never be used against the other. Never as a threat or weapon.

[BiggerStronger]

Hmm...This is how I fixed this problem, be it right or wrong, you be the judge:

I used to nag my gf all the time about us never being intimate...to the point of her thinking that all I wanted was sex...which wasn't the case. Really, I was confused why she never wanted it...even if things were ok with us...It made me question our relationship. It made my confidence lower...and generally made me an unhappy person because I felt like I was not attractive to her anymore.

I decided that instead of trying to force the issue to just not focus my energy into thinking about it, or talking about it to her. I decided that life is too short for this crap, and I should go out and have a good time. That's what I did....I changed my attitude. I went out with my friends instead of waiting for an opportune time to have sex with her. I went out and it felt good to have girls looking at me, talking to me, and showing their interests in me. (I didn't cheat on her BTW)

This gave me a new confidence, it lightened me up a bit, and I didn't think about us not having sex. I had better things to do with my time. Girls want what they don't have...Make her chase you a little, if she feels threatened that she might lose you....than you're doing a good job. Let her know in a subtle way that that girls are attracted to you....say something like this girl from the bar, club, etc. said this to you and you thought it was funny. It gets them thinking a bit....and in the end they'll either shape up or ship out.

Once I started mentioning all of the cool females I was meeting (friendly situations of course) she started to get a bit jealous, and started to think I've lost my interest in her. Finally I got her to want sex with me....she now feels how I felt....and she got the reality check that she deserved. Do not ever take people for granted as they may be lost in a heartbeat.

[Big_Swole]

Originally posted by jipped genes
and yes after 12 years of being with the same woman i still beat my meat often

Why do you do that, when you have your wife? Doesn't she satifsy you?

[FLAT_TOP]

I think most women do that... they use sex as a reward and no sex as a punishment... F_T

[mrsgoodbody]

In response to BiggerStronger:

Sooooo wrong. Sorry, just had to let you know! Don't ever "play" someone you have a relationship with. That's not a relationship, that's just plain manipulation. A relationship means you can tell each other "hey, I want sex, why don't you?" and then talk about it...

Anyway, I sometimes masturbate for DrG's pleasure while he watches - but it always becomes a participatory (not spectator) sport...

[TrippersGirl]

Sex is a strong weapon for both sides. Whatever it is that is bothering her and causing her to act childish is also something you need to bring up. If she's withholding sex for something as stupid as you not emptying out the dishes then you need to sit her down and be extremely stern about this and what you NEED.
good luck :)
ps-buy her a sybian!!!

[believer]

Anyway, I sometimes masturbate for DrG's pleasure while he watches - but it always becomes a participatory (not spectator) sport...

Well, that kind of self fulfillment is a-ok in my book.;)

Sex is a strong weapon for both sides. Whatever it is that is bothering her and causing her to act childish is also something you need to bring up. If she's withholding sex for something as stupid as you not emptying out the dishes then you need to sit her down and be extremely stern about this and what you NEED.

Yes, it is that type of stupid, trivial thing that will get me shut out for days...she's the type who just can't forget or let go.
By the way, what's a sybian?