Joke of the day!!

[Cory]

Everyone submit a joke here each day!! Let's just post written jokes here since we already have a Funny Picture Thread!!! Here's one to start things off:

Some people just don't know how to drive..... I call these people

"Everybody but me"

:rofl:

[Gongshow]

I cant think of one right now :(

[andy420]

why did the girl fall off the swing???/

she had no arms


man I love that one

[andy420]

what do you call a hooker with a runny nose??
Full

[Shibby]

Two guys walk into a bar

You think the second one would have ducked. :rofl:

[Cory]

:rofl:

[Irishgirl]

Shortly after a pregnant woman gave birth with twins, she slipped into a coma. When she woke, the Dr told her that her brother had named the babies. Thinking what a moron her brother was, she was worried.

"What are the names?", she asked the Doctor.

"The girl's name is Denise" he said.

She thought to herself, not bad, I guess he's not such a moron after all. "What is the boy's name" she asked.

"Denephew" the Doctor told her.

[Irishgirl]

Originally posted by Shibby
Two guys walk into a bar

You think the second one would have ducked. :rofl:

:rofl: My kind of humor :D

[jipped genes]

why did the blonde swallow the condom?


she was out of birth control pills!

[obscured78]

what does the titantic and a blonde have in common?



no one is sure how many people went down on either of them.

[Shibby]

One I'm sure everyone has heard but I love it.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel atached to his balls. The bartender ask the pirate "Do you know you have a steering wheel atached to you balls?" The pirate responds "Aye, it's driving me nuts"

[Ditsz]

The Italian says,
"When I have a-finished makina love with my girl-a-friend, I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees. She floatsa 6
inches abova da bed in ecstasy".

The Frenchman replies, "Zat is nothing, when Ah 'ave finished making ze love with ze girlfriend Ah kiss all ze way down her body and zen Ah lick ze soles of her feet with mah tongue and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy".

The Irishman says, "Dat's nottin'. When Oi've finished sh*ggin'me bord, I get out of da bed, walk over to d'window and wipe me knob on da curtain.
She hits da fockin' roof.

[Ditsz]

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room.

She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now...cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train...cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train...but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say..."All passengers, please remember your things, thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She heard her little darling continue..."For those of you just boarding, remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen

[njjuicer]

hahaha funny shit!

[njjuicer]

what did the 2 tampon say to eacho othetr?


nothign they were stuck up bitches!!!!!