Am I just being paranoid?

[bad14u]

Trip-

As usual you make perfect sense..

PI- your post is dead on! "?

:hmmm: Who?

[Mr I]

It's obviously different for everybody, but I know that when my life is in utter chaos and I force myself to do something in nature away from the walls and pressures of society I feel a lot better.
;)

I took a shit in a field the other day, does that count? :bbq:

[Mr I]

I'm sure that this has eventually happened to everyone but personally, I have had a string of really bad things happen to me in a very short amount of time before. One thing that I can say without a doubt......once you reach a certain bottom there is nowhere to go but up. There is almost a certain kind of liberating feeling one gets when they realize that they are completely fucked. Although things seem quite stressful right now you must realize that they aren't as bad as they could be. .

Its ok everybody Primal Instinct is here to chear us all up :laughnew: :laughnew: sorry dude I'm splitting my sides over hear :laughnew: allways look on the bright side aye :laughnew:

[bad14u]

How do you "de stress"?

When I have time, I will go to the gym. When I don't have time to get to the gym, I usually just take my son out for a walk around our property. If he doesn't want to go, I will go alone. I do pander about the day and the next day as well out on this walk, but I take a look around and see everything we have...a house, good health, food, land, family, friends, a job. We have a lot of things others would kill or die for. I take that all in and say to myself...No matter how bad you think you have it, somewhere, someone has it worse. Then I thank God, tell him to tell my dad that I miss him and love him and I go back inside and play with my son.

I'm sorry you don't have a child to take that walk with, yet but you will one day. For now, take that walk with Sonis or go alone and think about those things. Think about what you want to show that beautiful baby when he or she arrives, because when the day comes to take that walk with the baby you're gonna look down and say "where to sweety?" and they will have no clue as to what you are talking about. :nerdnew:

[bad14u]

wow, you don't hear that too often, lol

. :P

[babyblues]

Here's the thing, there will always be something for you to stress out over. There will always be things to lose sleep over. There will always be something to worry about. Even when you do have a child, there will be a whole new set of worries and stresses. Even when you do lose the weight you want, there will be the pressure to keep it off. How do you know that when you have a baby or lose the weight that worries will go away? My point is that you can't rely on circumstances to be happy and free from stress. That's a state of mind so to speak. I can appreciate that people are just trying to help when they say that someone else has it worse, but knowing that we're better than someone else isn't the point. The point is recognizing what you have and enjoying it. You've got to find a way to do that, red, because if you continue your current pattern of thinking, you're going to destroy yourself. Trust me, I know.

That's the key....enjoy what you have. Take the time to enjoy the things that you have.

[trip]

red squirrel,

here's a joke i made up my first couple of weeks in business

Why does a Success Coach get paid twice as much as a psychiatrist?

Because a psychiatrist helps you figure out you're okay, a Success Coach shows you how you are great. And greatness costs twice as much.


Now, back to you.

THE RECENCY EFFECT- okay, just says the most recent thing that happens to us is the most emotional.

Example, for the majority of us we can say or talk about 9-11 without have a big emotional reaction now. I'm not downplaying the event in anyway, cause i'm sure if we all took a moment, we could ponder that time and feel the emotoins, of which are strong because it's a significant emotional event ( a different deal ) anyways, if we say 9-11 in passing it does not stress us out per say.

So, all your recent stuff is big, very big. A person having one of those issue's would have a little bit of struggle. All at once, well, your reaction/response is fairly typically, ie, yez isa normal, lol............okay as much as ironheads can be.

Working with clients, 80% of my time is spent listening and then supporting, saying, yeah, u did that right, that was perfect, excellent move, etc. The other 18% is reminding them of lessons we learned yet forgot in a sense, and take a wrong turn for a short while. The other 2% u hit a personal best a break thru.

Anyways, your work situation.

They promoted u because u are the best for the job.

Now, almost our worst enemy is our thought habits. Best guess is your thought habit, ie, meaning it's consistent all the time, runs through your brain several to several hundred times a day, is probably this.

U probably think your under the gun and they are monitoring u for your performance level in this new job, perhaps thinking they have a critical eye, and that all you do is under a micro-scope, and just any teeny thing u do wrong, could be cause for confrontation, scolding, demotion and or firing etc. ( yup, when u get into these bad thought habits then tend to go to extremes.......what ur trying to do is prepare urself emotional for the worst before it ever happens )

Well, the real deal is, on a best guess basis, they promoted you because of your intelligence, work ethic, commitment to the company and best person for the job. And when u do that, u really spend about zero time thinking about that person and their performance, u got other stuff on ur plate.

So, the reality is only u r microscoping urself. No one around u is and it's the furthest thing from their mind, most likely they think your doing a bang up job.

In the end, your thoughts are out of alignment with reality, and thus alot of the stress is self-induced..............again, this is pretty normal, even i go thru it.


Myself, when i get in my moods, i tend to sit down have a come to jesus meeting with myself that is almost entirely logic based, a real real reality check, and sometimes i'll have to do it several times in a week before it holds for a bit.

Whatever ur style is, writing a post, talking to a friend, writing a list, taking a walk, heck looking at pictures of folks in worse positions ( hey that one always hits me ever now and then when i'm playing the poor me harp and i see some tragic news story )

Also, bouncer posted up a big thread on stress within the last month, it's a good one, might want to check it out.

And also, like u say, all the other replies are helpful and right on, we're alot more alike than we really know, lol

hoped that helped
good lucky

[bad14u]

when you do have a child, there will be a whole new set of worries and stresses. I can appreciate that people are just trying to help when they say that someone else has it worse, but knowing that we're better than someone else isn't the point. The point is recognizing what you have and enjoying it.

That's the key....enjoy what you have. Take the time to enjoy the things that you have.

You pretty much confirmed what I told her, other than I wasn't trying say she or anybody is better than another. I was simply saying that she may be better off than others.

Take this morning for instance...on my way to work...I was thinking about the new position I have applied and interviewed for. Wondering if I was gonna get it and all the new work and responsibilities it will bring. As I was thinking about those things and starting to worry, I passed by a day labor office. I saw all those people waiting to see if they would be able to work today. It made me realize I am very fortunate to have the job that I have now and that I shouldn't worry about the job I don't have yet. IMO, it was Gods way of saying..."Hey...don't worry about what tomorrow may bring. Tomorrow may never come. Think about the gift that you have now...the present. You can worry about the other job when the time comes."

[babyblues]

You pretty much confirmed what I told her, other than I wasn't trying say she or anybody is better than another. I was simply saying that she may be better off than others.

Take this morning for instance...on my way to work...I was thinking about the new position I have applied and interviewed for. Wondering if I was gonna get it and all the new work and responsibilities it will bring. As I was thinking about those things and starting to worry, I passed by a day labor office. I saw all those people waiting to see if they would be able to work today. It made me realize I am very fortunate to have the job that I have now and that I shouldn't worry about the job I don't have yet. IMO, it was Gods way of saying..."Hey...don't worry about what tomorrow may bring. Tomorrow may never come. Think about the gift that you have now...the present. You can worry about the other job when the time comes."

Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean that you were wrong, I was just saying that instead of comparing herself to others, whether better off or not, she needs to look at her life such as it is and be happy with what she has in this moment. :D Learning to be content with what you have.

[redsquirrel]

Well, this thread certainly became interesting.

However, I think it got a little off track. I DO apprectiate all of my blessings and everything I have. I've worked my ass off for, and I do enjoy it, and I am thankful for it. As far as comparing myself to others- everyone does that....what I WAS comparing was the fortune of others as far as being able to conceive a child. That whole issue really has me very down because we haven't had any success thus far since the miscarriage.

The main point of what I am saying is I just seem to be feeling more pressure and anxiety than before. For whatever reason, I have this intuition that something bad is going to happen when I go to Italy. My though process is simple: I think subconciously since I've had a pretty rough year emotionally, that if I do something out of the ordinary; something could happen. Like, my mom was just saying how last year when we all went to London how my parents got their Will in order, and how they just got life insurance for the two of them this year. Nothing of course happened, but I dunno...the year has just brought so many changes. Who knows- maybe I've gotten my fill of bad karma for the year, and all of these coincidences and morbidity is just a product of the year I've had.

I really do appreciate everyone's responses. They've helped

[bad14u]

Well, this thread certainly became interesting.

However, I think it got a little off track. I DO apprectiate all of my blessings and everything I have. I've worked my ass off for, and I do enjoy it, and I am thankful for it. As far as comparing myself to others- everyone does that....what I WAS comparing was the fortune of others as far as being able to conceive a child. That whole issue really has me very down because we haven't had any success thus far since the miscarriage.

The main point of what I am saying is I just seem to be feeling more pressure and anxiety than before. For whatever reason, I have this intuition that something bad is going to happen when I go to Italy. My though process is simple: I think subconciously since I've had a pretty rough year emotionally, that if I do something out of the ordinary; something could happen. Like, my mom was just saying how last year when we all went to London how my parents got their Will in order, and how they just got life insurance for the two of them this year. Nothing of course happened, but I dunno...the year has just brought so many changes. Who knows- maybe I've gotten my fill of bad karma for the year, and all of these coincidences and morbidity is just a product of the year I've had.

I really do appreciate everyone's responses. They've helped

That being said I will repeat what I said earlier. It comes with age RS. That pregnancy put things in a whole new perspective for you. You may have even gained a little "mother's intuition". I think, for the most part, you have been on an emotional rollercoaster since the miscarriage, and that is to be expected. Regardless if you had gone full term and had the child you would probably still be having these thoughts.

I think since 9-11, anytime anyone travels abroad they have thoughts that something bad could happen. When I flew to Canada I was feeling the same way. I was paranoid and eyeballing everyone that looked suspicious. With everything that is on the news these days about terrorists and planes going down for no apparent reason, it is only normal to think something could happen.

[bonebreaker]

Ok, so the last 6 months for me have not been very good personally...(losing the baby and all). However, professionally it has been good.(I got promoted)

HOWEVER- I've jsut been feeling a lot of anxiety, and IDK- fear about WTF is going on...First my car needed service...then I drive off at the gas station with my gas cap still on the gas door. I'm going to Italy on vaca next month for 10 days....I wrote the check for the trip, and it was check #666...THEN- I get an email at work telling me I haven't chosen a beneficiary for my Life Insurance!?!??!?! :thumbsdow :hmmm:

It's kinda like someone telling you NOT to think about the word hippopotomous for the next 5 minutes. It's impossible to do, you'd have to think about it Not to think about it. What you're doing is looking for things that may go wrong or be a little bit weird. Those things can be self fulling prophecies. You're just thinking too much---R E L A X and enjoy your vacation. BB