1 in 10 people's dads aren't who they think they are

[FitnessBrat]

That doesn't sound at all fair to the mother or child....

I understand Controls thinking as well - just saying I don't see how it could ever work. I'm not being argumentative - I promise. :)

[Shibby]

That doesn't sound at all fair to the mother or child....

I understand Controls thinking as well - just saying I don't see how it could ever work. I'm not being argumentative - I promise. :)

I'm not sure why it's not fair. It sounds like someone has something to hide. If it's mandatory, it's not about trust issues in a relationship. Is it fair for any guy to take responsibility for a child simply because a woman puts his name on the birth certificate? You also were talking about who would incure the cost. Well as many civil cases there are concerning parental rights, I think it would save money. Besides to determine if the guy is the father in a civil case, there would need to be a paternity test anyways. I'm not saying women and families shouldn't be trusted. But you sound like you are taken a deffensive posistion and not an objective position. As bad as it may sound to you to require a paternity test, the truth is, this kind of stuff does happen all the time. This would also keep men from trying to convince themselves and others that they are not the father.

You may be thinking "Well do you think you should have to take a test to prove your son is your son, shibby?" My answer would be at this point, no. Becuase it would be singling me out for some reason. If it was a requirment to have my name on my son's birth certificat, I would do it without thinking.

[FitnessBrat]

I'm not sure why it's not fair. It sounds like someone has something to hide. If it's mandatory, it's not about trust issues in a relationship. Is it fair for any guy to take responsibility for a child simply because a woman puts his name on the birth certificate? You also were talking about who would incure the cost. Well as many civil cases there are concerning parental rights, I think it would save money. Besides to determine if the guy is the father in a civil case, there would need to be a paternity test anyways. I'm not saying women and families shouldn't be trusted. But you sound like you are taken a deffensive posistion and not an objective position. As bad as it may sound to you to require a paternity test, the truth is, this kind of stuff does happen all the time. This would also keep men from trying to convince themselves and others that they are not the father.

You may be thinking "Well do you think you should have to take a test to prove your son is your son, shibby?" My answer would be at this point, no. Becuase it would be singling me out for some reason. If it was a requirment to have my name on my son's birth certificat, I would do it without thinking.

No, I'm not being defensive at all - if I become pregnant I'm fully aware of who the father would be - so that's NOT my point...

I only said unfair because you said the fathers name should not be on the birth certificate if he isn't tested. If I sleep with someone, and they want nothing to do with a baby that I'm positive is theirs, how do I get them to show up for a paternity test? If they don't show you're saying my child has a blank under father?
I'm ALL for fathers rights Shibby - it is NOT that at all. I know how often men get screwed in paternity and/or child support cases. I was simply saying I couldn't see a way it would really work - so I was asking you and whomever else's opinion.....

[Shibby]

If I sleep with someone, and they want nothing to do with a baby that I'm positive is theirs, how do I get them to show up for a paternity test? If they don't show you're saying my child has a blank under father?

I think I see the confusion. Whether it's required or not, you are going to have the same difficulty getting them to do a paternity test. Let's say you only slept with one man, but have cheated (non-sexual) before. Why should the system just trust the woman in naming the father. You may be positive the man is the father, but without the proof it would mean nothing. It's all hear-say at that point. Yes I think the father catagory should be left blank if there isn't a father willing to accept responsibility. It wouldn't be any different if the name is there, if the father isn't willing to take responsibility. It does however keep from a woman putting a name down when they are not sure, or the name of maybe the two or more guys she has slept with, that she would prefer to be the father.

[Control]

I still don't understand. Who gets tested? Just the man she says it is? How do we make him show up?

If you suspect that a man is the father of your child and he denies it you can sue him at which point he would be subpeoned and required to have a paternity test. If he's the father his name goes on the birth certificate.