So, I normally stay out of this sub-forum...

[NewbieChris]

Oh, last night was fun. For the most part whenever I talked to this girl over the past months it was at one of our parties when she was waisted...or at a football game when she was waisted. She's not different sober. It was like talking to a brick wall, no worse. A brick wall would have just said nothing, her responses were on par with I don't even know.

Fun.

[Bouncer]

Oh, last night was fun. For the most part whenever I talked to this girl over the past months it was at one of our parties when she was waisted...or at a football game when she was waisted. She's not different sober. It was like talking to a brick wall, no worse. A brick wall would have just said nothing, her responses were on par with I don't even know.

Fun.

who cares, no need to talk to her. i would have said one thing and one thing only. "how about i take you home and i stick my tongue in your ass?"

[JUICE]

A chick who says she'll blow you on a first date, is a chick you dont want to call the next day.

i agree with you 100 percent on this one. Had a chick do that a few months ago and that showed me enough that shes most likely done it before many times.



Hey Chris, just date women bro, theres too many girls out there. Since you say you feel weird about this, just date for now and dont take things serious unless you find someone that interests you.

[Mr I]

sounds to me like a couple of things bother you; one is you have known her for a long time and the other is she sucks other guys on the first date.

Look at it as therapy to get you back on track

[OhHannah]

Well, I see a couple different issues going on here. The one that raises the biggest red flags for me is the heavy alcohol use. There's nothing wrong with partying, but if you can't or won't relate to people socially without being drunk, that says there is a problem.

My background is Pagan and poly; that's the community I was raised in, and we have a whole different attitude about sex. If it's all safe and consensual between adults, it's okay to share pleasures with your trusted friends as long as everyone is completely honest about what the expectations are. We don't have a puritanical attitude about sex and we definitely do not think it is right to call a woman a whore if she wants to share pleasure with people she likes and trusts.

Sex simply doesn't need to have negative, nasty connotations. It certainly can be an act of love and commitment that you reserve only for one special person, but it is also okay if two friends want to share for fun and they both understand this. If you condemn or demean someone who makes different choices about their sexuality, that says a hell of a lot more about your level of maturity and self confidence than anyone else's.

Now if she is polygamous by nature and you are mongamous by nature, you need to communicate clearly on what your expectations are if you are interested in a relationship. If you have concerns about her health status, it is absolutely appropriate to discuss those and to ask for mutual STD testing before becoming intimate.

In this situation, given what you've said about the constant partying and drining, I'm not sure I'd be so quick to say that this particular woman is one who is always making good or healthy choices about who she shares pleasure with. But the only way you're going to find out is to ask her. Tell her honestly what your personal morals and standards are for sharing intimacy - WITHOUT implying that they are the only true way to do things and everyone who does not agree is a whore, a slut or an evil sinner. Playing preacher in bed is really no fun for anyone unless you are both very, very kinky. Ask what her morals and standards are - again without judging if they are different from yours. Find out if you can negotiate and compromise sufficiently for both of you to feel comfortable being intimate together, if you have different expectations about what sexual intimacy should imply. Don't assume that you're both automatically on the same page, because that's how freakouts happen when you find out that your expectations of what things "mean" are totally different.

[caged]

slam bamm,thank you-mamm.
make sure you slap 1 on too!:D

[alwaysgrowing]

i prefer the

find em
feel em
fuckem
forget emmmmm

[dna9488]

i prefer the

find em
feel em
fuckem
forget emmmmm

HOLY FUCKIN SHIT................

DUDE, my dad says somethin very similar to that (no joke)......

[caged]

i prefer the

find em
feel em
fuckem
forget emmmmm

lol . we used to say that when i was like 14.

[caged]

so -chris whats the verdict? did you hit it?

[alwaysgrowing]

Well, I see a couple different issues going on here. The one that raises the biggest red flags for me is the heavy alcohol use. There's nothing wrong with partying, but if you can't or won't relate to people socially without being drunk, that says there is a problem.

My background is Pagan and poly; that's the community I was raised in, and we have a whole different attitude about sex. If it's all safe and consensual between adults, it's okay to share pleasures with your trusted friends as long as everyone is completely honest about what the expectations are. We don't have a puritanical attitude about sex and we definitely do not think it is right to call a woman a whore if she wants to share pleasure with people she likes and trusts.

Sex simply doesn't need to have negative, nasty connotations. It certainly can be an act of love and commitment that you reserve only for one special person, but it is also okay if two friends want to share for fun and they both understand this. If you condemn or demean someone who makes different choices about their sexuality, that says a hell of a lot more about your level of maturity and self confidence than anyone else's.

Now if she is polygamous by nature and you are mongamous by nature, you need to communicate clearly on what your expectations are if you are interested in a relationship. If you have concerns about her health status, it is absolutely appropriate to discuss those and to ask for mutual STD testing before becoming intimate.

In this situation, given what you've said about the constant partying and drining, I'm not sure I'd be so quick to say that this particular woman is one who is always making good or healthy choices about who she shares pleasure with. But the only way you're going to find out is to ask her. Tell her honestly what your personal morals and standards are for sharing intimacy - WITHOUT implying that they are the only true way to do things and everyone who does not agree is a whore, a slut or an evil sinner. Playing preacher in bed is really no fun for anyone unless you are both very, very kinky. Ask what her morals and standards are - again without judging if they are different from yours. Find out if you can negotiate and compromise sufficiently for both of you to feel comfortable being intimate together, if you have different expectations about what sexual intimacy should imply. Don't assume that you're both automatically on the same page, because that's how freakouts happen when you find out that your expectations of what things "mean" are totally different.

i've been thinking about moving. where is this community?:)

[Bouncer]

so -chris whats the verdict? did you hit it?

no, they talked for awhile and then went to Bath and Body works. after that they went to Starbucks and chatted about female things. :ghey:

[NewbieChris]

so -chris whats the verdict? did you hit it?

Basically that is what this post was all about:

Oh, last night was fun. For the most part whenever I talked to this girl over the past months it was at one of our parties when she was waisted...or at a football game when she was waisted. She's not different sober. It was like talking to a brick wall, no worse. A brick wall would have just said nothing, her responses were on par with I don't even know.

Fun.

At dinner she only wanted to talk about, for lack of better word, shallow things. It was not fun what so ever hearing gossip about my brothers or her friends.

Now, had she talked about cars or politics or something of substance like what I want to do after graduation...maybe I would have asked her to place with my Popsicle, but none the less. I even tried steering the conversation to other topics. It was a terrible, terrible date.

[alwaysgrowing]

Now, had she talked about cars or politics or something of substance like what I want to do after graduation...maybe I would have asked her to place with my Popsicle, but none the less. I even tried steering the conversation to other topics. It was a terrible, terrible date.

so did you hit it or not? bad dates are the best to tap. you don't have to feel bad about not calling them the next day. or telling them to leave because its time for you to sleep

[caged]

Basically that is what this post was all about:



At dinner she only wanted to talk about, for lack of better word, shallow things. It was not fun what so ever hearing gossip about my brothers or her friends.

Now, had she talked about cars or politics or something of substance like what I want to do after graduation...maybe I would have asked her to place with my Popsicle, but none the less. I even tried steering the conversation to other topics. It was a terrible, terrible date.

ok.. then it sound like a perfect " fuck friend"-no?