Lost my son to suicide

[decadecadeca]

I don't have kids and I honestly cant imagine the pain you're going thru, but we're all here for you for what that's worth. You're a tough motherfucker but don't try to keep everything bottled up, reach out if you need to, and when you're ready.

[piratex]

Lip I'm so sorry for your loss. I have a 17 year old son and I can't even imagine. I'm definitely going to focus more on keeping him closer and being a better listener to him.

Sorry man. I'm truly sorry. R.I.P lil Rip

[lipripper]

The struggle is a motherfucker...no matter what your doing...you go to the store n people are smiling...telling you happy new year....it's hard not to snap. But you know they have no idea what your dealing with...

The fatigue...it's like the only thing I can compare it to was combat... constantly completely exhausted...but can't sleep..it's bad...can't turn it off in your head...I can only hope at some point I can learn to control it.

One foot in front of the other just keep driving on.

[Bouncer]

The struggle is a motherfucker...no matter what your doing...you go to the store n people are smiling...telling you happy new year....it's hard not to snap. But you know they have no idea what your dealing with...

The fatigue...it's like the only thing I can compare it to was combat... constantly completely exhausted...but can't sleep..it's bad...can't turn it off in your head...I can only hope at some point I can learn to control it.

One foot in front of the other just keep driving on.

your wife and your daughter are super important right now brother. make sure you talking to them. make sure you're letting some of that shit out. you keep it bottled up and all you hear is the voice in your head things will not get better. you need other people right now. i'm repeating it because i feel like your the type to just hold shit in. don't. not on this.

[rado]

Glad you're ok man.


I texted and called; just making sure you're ok.



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[lipripper]

Hanging in men picked up my son today...he was 6'5 now he's in a small square box I hold in my hand....tough times no doubt....hold your kids close men.....

[Turbo3000]

Rip, I’m so sorry..........

[TrapsBrah]

Rip, I am truly sorry about your loss. Extending my thoughts and prayers with you and the rest of the family during this arduous time.

[lipripper]

Thanks guys it's a horror I wouldn't wish on anyone... definitely a heavy rucksack to hump.

[redback]

Very Sorry Rip. Can’t imagine what that must be like.
take care bro.

[lipripper]

Ate my first full meal today...fucking burger n fries...lol down almost 15 lbs now . The body does strange shit when under such mental stress... Back at work this week. It seems to help get the mind off stuff but hard to concentrate on stuff as well. Sleep is still almost nothing. Maybe 2 or 3 hours a day max . Moving fwd men... Feel like a bitch relaying this here but fuck it...it's an outlet...

[Bouncer]

Ate my first full meal today...fucking burger n fries...lol down almost 15 lbs now . The body does strange shit when under such mental stress... Back at work this week. It seems to help get the mind off stuff but hard to concentrate on stuff as well. Sleep is still almost nothing. Maybe 2 or 3 hours a day max . Moving fwd men... Feel like a bitch relaying this here but fuck it...it's an outlet...

All you can do bro. Just keep forging ahead

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[lipripper]

Been just over a month now. HowThe body reacts to this is crazy. Still can't sleep managing 2 or 3 hours a day at most. Like a zombie during the day from the fatigue. I'm down 17 lbs...look like shit bags under my eyes..looks like I've aged 10 years. Getting one meal a day down. Once in a while I do eat good for a day.

I need to try n get back into the gym mentally I just don't feel ready...but physically...I know I need to. I feel weak as shit.

The pain has filled some..work helps when I'm busy as I'm moving thinking...but dead in-between tasks. I did manage to go off shore one time. It was a great mental break as I pretty much focused on the fishing most of the day and navigation of the boat. That was a good day.

I've started thinking about going to the VA to try n get something to help me sleep. I really believe that the sleep would do me wonders....but I don't want to get labeled..I'm not one to ask for help or like to borrow shit.I feel it shows weakness. Yet......I find my self actually thinking I may need to get something. On occasion I do a few shots before I try n sleep...but limit it as I don't want to become dependant on it...fuck that...

Still moving fwd but this is a motherfucking slow up hill March.

[Bouncer]

Been just over a month now. HowThe body reacts to this is crazy. Still can't sleep managing 2 or 3 hours a day at most. Like a zombie during the day from the fatigue. I'm down 17 lbs...look like shit bags under my eyes..looks like I've aged 10 years. Getting one meal a day down. Once in a while I do eat good for a day.

I need to try n get back into the gym mentally I just don't feel ready...but physically...I know I need to. I feel weak as shit.

The pain has filled some..work helps when I'm busy as I'm moving thinking...but dead in-between tasks. I did manage to go off shore one time. It was a great mental break as I pretty much focused on the fishing most of the day and navigation of the boat. That was a good day.

I've started thinking about going to the VA to try n get something to help me sleep. I really believe that the sleep would do me wonders....but I don't want to get labeled..I'm not one to ask for help or like to borrow shit.I feel it shows weakness. Yet......I find my self actually thinking I may need to get something. On occasion I do a few shots before I try n sleep...but limit it as I don't want to become dependant on it...fuck that...

Still moving fwd but this is a motherfucking slow up hill March.

go to the store and buy the generic antihistamine drug Diphenhydramine HCI 25mg (most people know it as benadryl)

this is the same exact drug that's in ZZZQuil but they triple the price and call it a sleep aid.

each tab is 25mgs. take 4 tabs 20-30 minutes before bed. if you wake up 3-4 hours later and cant sleep take 4 more.

this drug has been used by millions of people for decades. no sides aside from making you sleepy.

if 4 tabs isn't strong enough for you take 6 tabs the next night.