Bad experience at VA.

[lipripper]

Ok..I'll try n get this right.....from what I can remember. As you know I lost my son to suicide this past Christmas morning. To say I've had my world flipped upside down don't come close.

Lost a lot of weight. No sleep depressed all fucked up to say the least. I finally went and asked for help just to try n sleep. I realized finally when falling asleep at work early in am. I was fucked to say the least.
Dr subscribes me some shit to..reset my clock for 2 days. Day 1 goes good..I get 6 hours sleep. Most in 2 months. Averaging maybe 2 hours a day since his death.
Second day...8 hours sleep. I wake up...get in fight with wife...shit goes bad! I leave...no idea where I'm going...wind up where we spread my son's ashes..while crossing bridge..I see no fence...think to my self...I could fall off this easy n be in water with my son.dead...done...suicidal...

I fight with wife from 6 am till dark. I say shit..I don't remember saying 5 min later..hurtfully hatefully things not me by any means. I drink or eat nothing by 9 pm...finally get bottle of water....by now...wife has realized..I'm not me...meds have me fucked up...paranoid...suicidal maniac..anger arms twitching shaking nerves are fucked up..eyes burning...all severe symptoms of this med..

She tells me she called state police to find me and make sure I'm ok...I feel out go into Army mode...EnE mentally...I hide truck in woods and watch bridge comming onto island. Cops comes across...I pulled chip out of phone n haul ass off island. Use compass on truck. Head saw on back roads dirt roads anything I can find....I have no clue where I am...or where I'm going.... Fucking cops ain't getting me!

2 hours or so later I'm 60 miles away....put chip in call wife...she convinced me its the meds and please come home...I tell her...if I see a road block I'm fucking ramming it!...
Anyway...I made it home save about 3 am...I never knew anything was wrong! I never felt off! My brain was fucked! Next am... headache from hell..arm n shoulder still twitching uncontrollable...crazy shit....by noon....I was me again. Talking with wife putting the pieces of all this together....man I put her thru hell!

Sunday was a good day I went fishing with some buds..told them what happened..gave them a hug as I was glad to be here and see them.

Today is Tuesday doing fine except shoulder n arm still twitching throughout day on occasion.

First time in my life I ask for help and it about destroyed me!

[boricuarage79]

May I ask what meds you were prescribed brother? Since I'm quit expertise. You better off smoking cannabis.
I'm actually quit surprise VA would give you such meds.
Pills are shit.
If he gave you seroquel. I would knock him out. Or possible a benzo

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[lipripper]

I can't remember what it was off top of my head but bottle is at home..I'll get the name after work

[Chadd77]

Damn bro, glad you’re ok. That’s crazy. No shame in asking for help, not at all. Maybe speaking to a professional counselor would be beneficial. Not saying medication is out of the question but I would definitely be careful especially with the experience you had.

[lipripper]

Chadd....this guy was....lol. Behavior health specialist

[lipripper]

So..the stuff he gave me was..Temazepam. 30 mg. After reading on it recommend doseage is 7.5 to a Max of 15mg....so I was given a tripple dose of that shit...

[Chadd77]

Send that medication to Bori and let him report back to us!

[boricuarage79]

Send that medication to Bori and let him report back to us!

I been prescribed temazepam it's a weak benzo. 20mgs It's equivalent to 10mgs to valium which I take everyday and it doesn't even phase me cause I been on much higher dose. Benzo user for over 12 years.
Regardless it works the gaba receptors as alchohol.
So it wasn't the drug alone that made you agressive, depress and pissed off. Did you have alcohol? You just had alot of shit built up in you.
That doc was an idiot because benzos are downers, it does nothing for depression. It helps for anxiety and sleep, but shouldn't made you agressive at least not the first week. You should be feeling good and relax.The problem with these drugs you build a tolerance and you would need more for.it to work again. Its changes your chemical imbalance.
VA in florida won't even allow benzos. Trust me I tried when I was running out on vacation last summer so I just order the shit from the darkweb till I got back home
Regardless it is a good thing you came off of it in a short amount of time because benzo withdrawals are the worse. Combine with alcohol and you digging into deeper hole!
My brain is about 50% fried. I forget shit, I go to a room and forget why i was in there or what the fuxk I was looking for. I put shit in the microwave that suppose to be in the fridge.. so yea send that shit to me!! My shit expired 5 years ago

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[lipripper]

Bori...no alcohol...just that shit at 30 mg...it sent me for a fucking loop!

[boricuarage79]

VA doc bro. Surprise he didn't give you ibuprofen

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[Bouncer]

looked up the drug on google. first thing it says "Can cause paranoid or suicidal ideation and impair memory"/ sounds like you got the classic sides.

that's some scary shit your going through bro.

[boricuarage79]

looked up the drug on google. first thing it says "Can cause paranoid or suicidal ideation and impair memory"/ sounds like you got the classic sides.

that's some scary shit your going through bro.

Yea I looked up advil. Says the same shit

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[Bouncer]

Yea I looked up advil. Says the same shit

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except his sides were exactly as described.

[lipripper]

Yea it fucked me up B...I'm doing good now bro actually in a pretty good place. Wife convinced me to try this Herbal stuff all natural..make a tea out of it..been sleeping fucking great last several nights!!! Add a bit of lemon and this honey to it been getting about 8 hours a night. I was very sceptical about it..but do far it's really working.

[boricuarage79]

except his sides were exactly as described.

Yea we all respond different to chemicals. I'm surprise he was tired as fuck at that dose.
Starting dose is like 7.5 mgs.

Fuck benzos

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