Well, as some of you know I have just finished up my last gaining cycle for the year. And, I will tell you this- I am the biggest I have ever been in my life...to the point where I am uncomfortable. (160lbs at 15% BF) Since I am almost off, I am on the downward spiral. The water and bloat should be going away shortly.
BUT, I am really depressed. I have about 5 pairs of pants that I can get into. My legs and ass are wayyyy to big for regular clothing. Jesus, I tried on some cute blouses last night I was able to wear last spring, and I look ridiculous. I need to start buying L-XL in women's sizes. I was thinking about it, and I think I am going to have to start buying pants large enough to fit my legs and J. Lo booty and having them altered to fit my waist.
So, I ask all my ladies- is this really worth it??? You know we all strive and bust our asses to put on muscle.. I am honestly thinking of ways I can lose muscle. I feel abnormal. People at the gym look at me crooked all the time because I can usually move a lot of weight. People on the street look at me like I am deformed. the only clothes I am comfortable in are gym clothes. I just am having a real hard time justifying to myself why I should look like this. True, I will never, and i mean NEVER be this big again, but this next month or so is going to be hell on my mind.
BUT, I am really depressed. I have about 5 pairs of pants that I can get into. My legs and ass are wayyyy to big for regular clothing. Jesus, I tried on some cute blouses last night I was able to wear last spring, and I look ridiculous. I need to start buying L-XL in women's sizes. I was thinking about it, and I think I am going to have to start buying pants large enough to fit my legs and J. Lo booty and having them altered to fit my waist.
So, I ask all my ladies- is this really worth it??? You know we all strive and bust our asses to put on muscle.. I am honestly thinking of ways I can lose muscle. I feel abnormal. People at the gym look at me crooked all the time because I can usually move a lot of weight. People on the street look at me like I am deformed. the only clothes I am comfortable in are gym clothes. I just am having a real hard time justifying to myself why I should look like this. True, I will never, and i mean NEVER be this big again, but this next month or so is going to be hell on my mind.
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