I have to say- this is the worst thing

[ROCKETW19]

You know what, don't start that "you don't know because you haven't been there" crap, Shibby. Whether it's kids, a spouse, a co-worker or just friends, responding properly to our emotions instead of just reacting based on our emotions is of paramount importance. Trust me when I say I've had more experience with that than you have. Have you ever experienced the pain of having your marriage ripped away from you? I have. So, don't insinuate that this particular situation is any different because it involves children. We're not talking about something unique to having children. We're talking about something that we have to deal with in every single relationship we have with another human being. The bond between parent and child is stronger than most other relationships, but so is the bond between husband and wife. That bond for me was literally ripped apart. Imagine how emotional that would be. So, I'm speaking from experience too.

Didn't mean to hijack this thread, BTW. :D

Damn it bro I was understanding every word you said untill you compared a kid to a wife. My kid isnt even here yet and I can tell you already if my chick goes big deal ill shed a tear for 1 second but if my kid goes fuck that I dont even wanna think about it. this is being said and I still have 9 more weeks till the lil fucker is even here.

[babyblues]

I didn't think BB had any kids but I didn't want to assume.

BB, it not about not knowing what its like to have a kid, its about not understanding what its like. You can't compare the protection of a defensless kid to any other relationship. If you had a kid you would understand that given the choice, you will choose over reacting and insurung your kids safety than under reacting and witnessing an accident.

You're right. I don't "understand" what it's like to have a child. But I understand enough to know that remaining calm and not over reacting is always better. I don't need to have kids to understand that. How long it will take me to learn not to over react when I do have kids is another story. I'm just saying we don't have to choose to over react. I think you're making the mistake of assuming that disaster will result from not over reacting and that's what I disagree with. Wouldn't it be better to make the choice to expend your energies comforting your child instead of over reacting? In the end that's going to make both of you feel better. Instead of just dismissing what I've said because you don't think I understand, all I'm asking is that you consider it for it's content. Considering that other parents in this thread have agreed with some of it, I don't think I'm that far off.

[FitnessBrat]

Damn it bro I was understanding every word you said untill you compared a kid to a wife. My kid isnt even here yet and I can tell you already if my chick goes big deal ill shed a tear for 1 second but if my kid goes fuck that I dont even wanna think about it. this is being said and I still have 9 more weeks till the lil fucker is even here.

Ouch...

[babyblues]

Damn it bro I was understanding every word you said untill you compared a kid to a wife. My kid isnt even here yet and I can tell you already if my chick goes big deal ill shed a tear for 1 second but if my kid goes fuck that I dont even wanna think about it. this is being said and I still have 9 more weeks till the lil fucker is even here.

Sorry, dude, lol. That was the only frame of reference I had for talking about dealing with strong emotions. Kids are indeed different, but the principle is the same, right? But dang that was harsh! :D

[Bouncer]

What does this add to the conversation? I know you're joking around, but some times you go overboard. This is one of them. And if you're not joking, go ahead and insult me as much as you like, I don't really care. I stand by what I said.

shutup

[babyblues]

shutup

You shutup

[Bouncer]

no you

[babyblues]

Fine, I will

[Bouncer]

Fine, I will

like always, i come out on top! great success!

[babyblues]

like always, i come out on top! great success!

Nope

[redsquirrel]

You know what, don't start that "you don't know because you haven't been there" crap, Shibby. Whether it's kids, a spouse, a co-worker or just friends, responding properly to our emotions instead of just reacting based on our emotions is of paramount importance. Trust me when I say I've had more experience with that than you have. Have you ever experienced the pain of having your marriage ripped away from you? I have. So, don't insinuate that this particular situation is any different because it involves children. We're not talking about something unique to having children. We're talking about something that we have to deal with in every single relationship we have with another human being. The bond between parent and child is stronger than most other relationships, but so is the bond between husband and wife. That bond for me was literally ripped apart. Imagine how emotional that would be. So, I'm speaking from experience too.

Didn't mean to hijack this thread, BTW. :D

Actually, BB is actually onto one thing- the doctors actually tell you to remain calm during these types of things because the kids CAN sense it. If you are all pissed off- they can sense it. Which will only elevate their awareness, which in turn makes them start to freak out. A friend of mine who is a Dr told me this. She said if you can't stay calm, they won't either. It's just when sonis gets frustrated cause he can't get the baby to stop crying- even though she's only 4 mos old, she can still sense when he's getting impatient.

What I don't agree with, is that I was talking about something unique to children & not wanting to see them in pain. True, if sonis left me tomorrow, I'd be lonely & said for several months. But- NOTHING- absolutely NOTHING compares to that of seeing your childs pain. And- to take it a step further- when I had to deliver a baby at 24 weeks- (who obviolusly didn't make it) all I could think about was if she was EVER in ANY pain. So that my friend, is no paradox to a wife or co-worker or any other relationship "loss" that i know of. Not to diminish your pain- but I will revert to the old cliche: Until you have kids of your own, you just can't know.

[babyblues]

Actually, BB is actually onto one thing- the doctors actually tell you to remain calm during these types of things because the kids CAN sense it. If you are all pissed off- they can sense it. Which will only elevate their awareness, which in turn makes them start to freak out. A friend of mine who is a Dr told me this. She said if you can't stay calm, they won't either. It's just when sonis gets frustrated cause he can't get the baby to stop crying- even though she's only 4 mos old, she can still sense when he's getting impatient.

What I don't agree with, is that I was talking about something unique to children & not wanting to see them in pain. True, if sonis left me tomorrow, I'd be lonely & said for several months. But- NOTHING- absolutely NOTHING compares to that of seeing your childs pain. And- to take it a step further- when I had to deliver a baby at 24 weeks- (who obviolusly didn't make it) all I could think about was if she was EVER in ANY pain. So that my friend, is no paradox to a wife or co-worker or any other relationship "loss" that i know of. Not to diminish your pain- but I will revert to the old cliche: Until you have kids of your own, you just can't know.

Fair enough. :D