Hey Art of War

[Bouncer]

I used to communicate with him. A lot. It got to be a bit much for me because I had so much other stuff going on, and I sort of brushed my hands of it all. I feel really, really bad/guilty now, because he obviously needed people that care, and I truly did. There were nights I stayed up til sunrise trying to convince him of lifes worth, and that he did indeed deserve to live. Addiction is the most frustrating thing to me because I just want to "fix" and it just doesn't work like that. He was dealt a shitty hand as a child, and just couldn't overcome those issues. I feel so very sad for his family, because he was able to recognize how much he put them through, but in the end they are the ones that found him. :(

Addicts like him have a fundamental difference in their brain chemistry and makeup. He gets something completely different out of drugs then me or you would have. His brain responds differently. You never had a chance "fixing" him because you were coming from a stand point of a healthy brain. Any of your suggestions would only work for someone with a similar healthy brain. It's like trying to offer a solution to a dog for not being able to solve math problems.. they simply cannot.

You tried your best to help and that should be applauded but I could have told you the inevitable outcome years ago and saved you lots of stress and time. This doesn't surprise me in the slightest. Shame because he was not a dumb person. Quite smart actually.

[blm]

Addiction is a terrible thing. I used to just say "well they made the choice to start using drugs..." But after losing friend, family, and acquaintances, from a addiction in one form or another I've realized it's just not that simple or black and white. I've spent my fair share of time trying to help many of them (including John) but there just isn't anything you can say or do unless they commit 100% to the battle.

I'm sorry to hear this.

[Chadd77]

That was awesome of you to take the time to talk with him. You have a ton going on with work, school, kids, ect... that says a lot about you as a person. I feel for his family too. Losing a child has to be the worst feeling you could ever experience. It's too bad he wasn't able to get the help needed to overcome his struggles. Sad losing someone so young.

[FitnessBrat]

Addicts like him have a fundamental difference in their brain chemistry and makeup. He gets something completely different out of drugs then me or you would have. His brain responds differently. You never had a chance "fixing" him because you were coming from a stand point of a healthy brain. Any of your suggestions would only work for someone with a similar healthy brain. It's like trying to offer a solution to a dog for not being able to solve math problems.. they simply cannot.

You tried your best to help and that should be applauded but I could have told you the inevitable outcome years ago and saved you lots of stress and time. This doesn't surprise me in the slightest. Shame because he was not a dumb person. Quite smart actually.

I know this, and it is inevitably why I just had to stop. I had another addict causing me enough grief (my ex-husband) and I knew I was certainly not going to be able to "save" him (either of them). I knew John wasn't going to change, but I still feel bad, and it's still so sad.

[Bouncer]

Addiction is a terrible thing. I used to just say "well they made the choice to start using drugs..." But after losing friend, family, and acquaintances, from a addiction in one form or another I've realized it's just not that simple or black and white. I've spent my fair share of time trying to help many of them (including John) but there just isn't anything you can say or do unless they commit 100% to the battle.

I'm sorry to hear this.

Even the successful ones seem to really struggle. It's a life long battle. Again, the brain of a true addict is very different. I don't mean the brain changes after they become an addict either. The brain of an addict is different from the start.

[blm]

Absolutely. My buddy that was murdered a few years back was clean for years. Then one night after he had to deal with some family issues, the switch flipped and he went to get high. Things went from bad to worse and his dead body was dropped at his house like a discarded animal carcass.

[Bouncer]

My question for guys like AOW and your friend.. Even though they have something different in their brains that makes them become more addicted then others, would these people be able to lead a healthy life had they never started drugs in the first place?

I'm not sure they would. I think they are born with a weakness and if it wasn't drugs they would seek out some other kind of escape that would inevitably lead to their downfall.

[FitnessBrat]

My question for guys like AOW and your friend.. Even though they have something different in their brains that makes them become more addicted then others, would these people be able to lead a healthy life had they never started drugs in the first place?

I'm not sure they would. I think they are born with a weakness and if it wasn't drugs they would seek out some other kind of escape that would inevitably lead to their downfall.

Addiction is shown to be a trait passed on, yes. I have an aunt that has never taken a sip of alcohol because she was so afraid of becoming an addict like her father. A little ridiculous sounding, but I guess better than the alternative. My ex came from two addicts, and became an addict. Addicted to steroids, addicted to alcohol, would easily be addicted to ANYthing that made him feel "good" about himself.

There are also people that turn to drugs to to feel better about a traumatic experience. This was John. I don't know if his parents were ever addicts, but I think that had he never experienced the things he did as a child, he might not have chosen the path he did, and he could very well have lived a productive life.

[Bouncer]

Addiction is shown to be a trait passed on, yes. I have an aunt that has never taken a sip of alcohol because she was so afraid of becoming an addict like her father. A little ridiculous sounding, but I guess better than the alternative. My ex came from two addicts, and became an addict. Addicted to steroids, addicted to alcohol, would easily be addicted to ANYthing that made him feel "good" about himself.

There are also people that turn to drugs to to feel better about a traumatic experience. This was John. I don't know if his parents were ever addicts, but I think that had he never experienced the things he did as a child, he might not have chosen the path he did, and he could very well have lived a productive life.

Yea I agree I think. AOW was a smart guy. Had some good debates here with him. He made some good points and made me rethink my argument more than a few times. I liked him for that reason.

It's one thing when it's some dumb fuck low life who dies... But AOW wasn't that.

[FitnessBrat]

Yea I agree I think. AOW was a smart guy. Had some good debates here with him. He made some good points and made me rethink my argument more than a few times. I liked him for that reason.

It's one thing when it's some dumb fuck low life who dies... But AOW wasn't that.

No, he wasn't. And I re-read this thread prior to posting about his death, and thought the very same thing all over again. He seemed like a genuine guy, he was sweet, caring and smart. It's just a god damn shame.

[Mr I]

RIP

Nice guy talked about coming over to the UK

Seemed like everyone on here picked on him and bullied him. Shame

[Chadd77]

I just lost my cousin right before Christmas to depression. He took his own life. Shot himself in the head. The hardest part for me was not knowing how much he was struggling. I had no idea. I can't imagine getting to a place in my life that I would have to do something like that. Like FB, I wish that I would have been able to help him. He was such a smart guy too. He was a professor at a college in his area. Very tragic event. His parents are a mess.

[Chadd77]

Seemed like everyone on here picked on him and bullied him. Shame

You're a joke. Not going to even try and defend your above statement. I actually feel sorry for you bro. Maybe you weren't hugged enough as a child?

[Bouncer]

You're a joke. Not going to even try and defend your above statement. I actually feel sorry for you bro. Maybe you weren't hugged enough as a child?

Classic attention seeker. Any attention is good attention even if it's negative. Saw an opportunity for controversy and jumped. In trying so hard to stand out he has become irrelevant.

Resist the urge to feed a starving pig..

[Chadd77]

Classic attention seeker. Any attention is good attention even if it's negative. Saw an opportunity for controversy and jumped. In trying so hard to stand out he has become irrelevant.

Resist the urge to feed a starving pig..

I agree and everyone on here already knows that about him but I guess I was hoping he had some dignity left in him.